This is a very human, ordinary problem, which touches the life of everyone of us, rich and poor, young and old, why do we live this monotonous, meaningless life, going to the office or working in a laboratory or a factory for forty years, breeding a few children, educating them in absurd ways, and then dying? I think you should ask this question with all your being, in order to find out. Then you can ask the next question: whether human beings can ever change radically, fundamentally, so that they look at the world anew with different eyes, with a different heart, no longer filled with hatred, antagonism, racial prejudices, but with a mind that is very clear, that has tremendous energy.
Seeing all this – the wars, the absurd divisions which religions have brought about, the separation between the individual and the community, the family opposed to the rest of the world, each human being clinging to some peculiar ideal, dividing himself into ‘me’ and ‘you’, ‘we’ and ‘they’ – seeing all this, both objectively and psychologically, there remains only one question, one fundamental problem and this is whether the human mind, which is so heavily conditioned, can change. Not in some future incarnation, nor at the end of life, but change radically now, so that the mind becomes new, fresh, young, innocent, unburdened, so that we may know what it means to love and to live in peace."
Just out for a bite, some lunch after a fresh dip in the ocean on a warm morning in Ko Chang. The feeling on this two wheeled engine has my heart racing. It feels free and invigorating, soon I was coasting through the streets with the backdrop of ocean on one end and valleys on another, exploring a new land. I constantly check my surroundings and keeping the boys in vision. As we speed past food stands and markets of the Thai people making their living. It always seems to smell dusty or covered up by the cooking of meat but as the wind glides off my face I find myself content. There are many bends, ups and downs as we make our way through the city. My love, one of the riders is in front of me. He slows as the rest of us do to make a turn as he sees a stop for lunch on the beach. Until this moment, some things have gone foggy, like the mind only replays what it needs. When I look back a second time, it’s to late. What was unfolding in front of me causes me to freeze, when you know your in for the worst, your body clams and you have what seems no control over your muscular arrangements it all flickers off like the last light you try so hard to see. Another bike is in his direct path, in a flash, I hear bike scraping pavement and him slide and his back is to me across the street motionless on the pavement. Traffic is flooding every direction and before I can think of my own body, Im all the sudden standing. I’m off my bike trying to drag it out of the street so I can run over and get to him. I hear the other rider, my good friend behind me picking up my bike for me and telling me to “Go”. I don’t remember screaming but my friend said that he had never heard anything like it. I could only say “oh my God” over an over as I cross the street feeling half alive myself.
I needed to get to him. Everything I love in this world, my future and dearest man of my heart, right there on the ground in a ball. Then I see he’s in pain and grabbing his foot. Thank God, he was moving, that allowed me to breathe. I asses his body find all the places he’s bleeding. None of us know how this works, these bikes are rented, we are in another country, communication with the Thai is at times a task. The other man is laying on the side of the road and he is in much worse shape. His head is bleeding and he has not stood up yet. In those initial moments, many have felt, life becomes so terribly precious, the people we love and our lives threaded together. It can all go sour in a blink. Traveling has taught me you have to really live in the moment, you don’t have a plan. Your in one direction then the next, everything’s a constant change and you adjust or you don’t. I can say how grateful I am and have become, yet I feel that part of me has always been there. When life comes knocking you can’t live life from the inside, sometimes you have to accept it. I’m still figuring out what all this means but thankfully everyone is alright which in the end is all that damn well matters. I’ve been nursing his wounds and thank the angels that he’s asleep at my side and he can kiss me and tell me how much he loves me. The rest is details. I’ll spend the rest of the evening reading and loving.
Enjoying life from over here.
May you love you and yours with all your being.